


Seven.

by Anamakorga



Category: Original Work
Genre: (several), Everyone Has Issues, Everyone Is Gay, F/M, M/M, Nonbinary Character, Personification, The Seven Deadly Sins Are All Dorks
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-14
Updated: 2019-05-26
Packaged: 2020-03-04 22:34:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,507
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18822124
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anamakorga/pseuds/Anamakorga
Summary: Samantha McKinney was determined to be on her own for the first time on her own for the first time in her life. This was it. Five straight years of no contact with previous friends or family members, except for in cases of death or serious injury.Except when she steps into her new apartment, she finds she's not living alone. She has a grand total of six unwanted houseguests (apperently Envy has better things to do) and they consider her their personal possesion.Unfortunately, being the designated human for the Seven Deadly Sins has downsides - first and formost the fact that people have been trying to track down the Sins' human for years and will stop at nothing to find her - but more specifically, growing attached to her admittedly endearing - yet still suspicious - roomates.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I think it's important to first announce that if you did not read the tags and only read the description, NOW IS THE TIME TO READ THE TAGS. They have some important stuff in them.
> 
> Secondly, the rating on this story may change from T to M, because okay so Lust is kinda lusty and they're my favorite character and by far the most developed in terms of little details at this point (they wear kinky boots 24/7 fight me). But also because there are a few scenes and events I have planned out that could get pretty bad depending on how I write them. Nothing super graphic, but still pretty bad.
> 
> Thirdly, IMA DO IT. IMA SAY THINGS LIKE "WRATH SAID, THEIR VOICE FULL OF WRATH" AND "GREED SNATCHED IT UP GREEDILY" AND "PRIDE HELD UP HER CHIN PRIDEFULLY". If you have a problem with this you may leave.
> 
> Fourthly, this is, for the most part, a comedy (as though you couldn't already tell by the amount of seriousness I'm putting into creating these notes), but it's also a story. With a plot. And an ending. It's not going to be some goes-on-forever slice-of-life mess.
> 
> Fifthly, Wrath cusses. Like, a lot, and Lust will be going around doing things seductively. Gluttony is described as chubby and Greed is a bit of a thief. Just a warning.
> 
> And lastly, please, please please, PLEASE - enjoy the story.

Samantha McKinney stands in front of the door to her new apartment, holding a suitcase and a phone.

"Well." She says. "Here it is. Six-oh-six. See you in five years, sis." There's a beat. "Love you."

There's a garbled noise - most likely a returning "Love you." and Sam hangs up and opens the door, dragging her suitcase inside.

The lights flicker as soon as she walks in. Faulty wiring, she supposes. She strolls through the rooms, making sure the lights turn on - and back off, and back on again. The mattress is thin and ratty, and the bathroom sink is more likely to help put bacteria on her hands than it is to get it off. She flips over a cushion with a stain that she doesn't want to know about on it and sits down on the couch. It may not be much, but it's hers.

"All mine." She mumbles to herself.

"All yours," Says a voice from next to her. 

She jumps off of the couch and scrambles to her feet, only to run into someone behind her, someone who had somehow gone unnoticed before.

"All yours indeed!" The person on the couch spits, and there's a tone - they're indignant, she realizes. 

She turns to the door, only to be met with another face. Sam spins around, and realizing she has no out, shouts "Who are you?"

One of them props themself against the person on the couch and yawns. "Calm down, we're here to help. We're just-," They fall asleep before they can finish their statement.

The person on the couch pushes themself up and clears their throat. "We thought it would be obvious. Clearly, you're not as smart as we originally assumed. We're the Seven Deadly Sins, of course."

"Of course," Sam mutters. "Wait, if you're the seven deadly sins-,"

"Speak in capitals, please."

"Wha-then why are there only six of you?"

"Because apparently that little bitch of a Sin Envy has better things to do!" Screams one of them, throwing their hands into the air.

"We don't talk about it." Says another, jabbing a thumb at the one who'd just stood up. "It makes Greed cry."

Indeed, Greed does appear to be tearing up, but they wipe their eyes and continue speaking. "And this isn't your apartment. It's mine."

"It's ours." Says the one behind her. "And whoever else I bring home's."

With that comment (and their way-too-short skirt) She presumes they're Lust, and the one asleep on the couch must be Sloth.

"You never bring anyone home." Says another one. The biker jacket and fingerless gloves scream Wrath, and Sam puts another name to a face in this mental logic puzzle.

"It's not my fault we're incorporeal! If I had a body I would get so many dates, I'd like, set a record for the most dates in a day. It would be fantastic."

"Wait," Sam says. "If you're incorporeal, how can I see you?"

One of them pulls Sam away from Lust."Well, since you're going to be living with us, we've decided to grace you with the gift of being able to see my pretty face. Like a welcome present.  Besides, it'd be inconvenient for you to report this place as haunted to the authorities... I'm Pride. Ignore what Greed said about this not being your apartment. He doesn't know what he's talking about. You can live here so long as you can stand living with us."

"Are you going to eat my food?" Sam asks, an accusatory tone in her voice.

"Sloth, Lust, Wrath, and I won't. Greed and Gluttony will. Especially Gluttony."

Sam sighs.

"Yeah, we know." Pride rolls her eyes, clearly annoyed. "She's constantly complaining about being hungry, too." There's a muttered "somehow, before a woman in an overlarge sweatshirt interjects.

"It is not constant!" Says what must be Gluttony, yanking at a lock of Pride's perfectly curled hair with a chubby hand.

"Hey!" Pride shrieks, and for a second their eyes turn deep red, their teeth sharpen, and their skin gets a shiny plastic sheen. Then it's gone, and Pride is just as put-together and human-looking as they were before. "Is there anything you needed?" She asks Sam. "We have a schedule for showers and things over the week under the bed - there's an 85% chance that you can do anything at Sloth's scheduled times, she just stays asleep on the couch mostly - ooh, pronouns, those are important."

"Uh, yeah...,"

"I'm a she. As are Sloth and Gluttony. Wrath and Lust both go by 'they' and Greed is the only one who uses he/him. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go fix my hair, seeing as Glut fussed with it." Pride says and skips away into the bathroom. 

Sam is almost glad she's gone - she had been nearly sure she'd never stop talking. Then she realizes it's gone close to silent and looks around. Wrath, Greed, and Gluttony are sitting in the corner whispering to each other, while Sloth remains snoozing on the couch, and Lust sits at the table and sucks on a popsicle they got out while nobody was looking.

"Hey, what's the big secret?" Sam asks, walking up to the three in the corner.

"You're a problem." Spits Wrath. "Do you have any idea how long it's been since we've chosen a human?"

"Yes," Greed says. "Three hundred years is a long time, Ra-Ra-,"

"Don't you fucking dare call me that."

"And it's all the more reason for us to get another human," Sam swears Greed's eyes turn a deeper shade of green. "Besides, I've been lacking in new things ever since we agreed to stop shoplifting."

"Would you be willing to become our human?" Gluttony asks. "You'll be hunted, you know, but at the same time, there'll be certain things that happen to you, certain...well, I wouldn't call them powers, but...you'll get something, at least."

Sam takes a deep breath. "I need a walk. Take it in. Give me a moment to think about it. I'll have an answer by the time I get back."

So Samantha McKinney stepped back out into the world of men, and, locking her door, she saw that the middle number on it had changed from a zero.

It now read 666.

And she would never admit it, but she nearly grinned.

She wanted a life away from the normalcy that had become their city life, and she supposed she was going to get it.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam makes a decision and meets a neighbor, two happenings only loosely connected.

Sam McKinney steps back into what is 1/8th her apartment and finds complete and utter chaos. 

Sloth was on the couch when Sam left, but she certainly isn't anymore. Someone has draped her over the table, in a position that makes her look less like a human and more like a deflated balloon.

Lust is hanging from the light, which for however tall Lust is, still has them above the ground.

Pride is watching tv, if you consider, "flipping through channels so fast you can't tell what's going on," watching tv.

Greed and Gluttony are just sitting on the counter eating sandwiches, but they certainly aren't stopping Wrath from seeing how high they can pile up their china and still stand on it in their seven-inch heels.

Sam yanks Wrath down from their plate stack and tells them to and tells them to go and get Lust off of the light.

"Is this a yes to being our human?" Gluttony asks. 

"Well-,"

Whatever Sam was going to say is drowned out by Wrath's shout as they pick up Sloth and throw her limp body onto the couch. 

It lands on Pride, who shrieks, suddenly broken from the trance she had been put in by the television. Sloth does not wake up.

Then Wrath starts screaming at Lust to get down, and Sam injects herself into the situation, tackling Wrath and holding them down until they stop making noise.

"You can't scream like that. People will hear you." Sam says.

"No, they fucking won't." Growls Wrath. "You're the only one who can hear us."

"What?"

"Or see us!" Greed chirps.

"Yeah, I knew that. I just figured you had some form of communication with other people."

"We write letters sometimes, but that's about it." Lust says, finally dropping from the light.

"To who?" Sam asks.

"To whom. Just people who've lived in the same apartment as we have." Greed says. "We used to leave sticky notes around for them to find while they lived here."

"It was hilarious how they freaked the fuck out." Wrath says. "Well, except for that one time when shit hit the fan, and we nearly got exorcised." 

"Yeah, that was less than fantastic." Pride sighs. "And before anyone says it's my fault - because it's not - I'd like to say that Greed possessed them first and weakened their will. Also-,"

"Nobody cares," Sloth says, raising their head off of Pride's lap for a minute to readjust herself before laying back down. 

"To switch topics," Greed says. "Are you willing to be my human?"

"Our. Our human." Lust corrects.

"Mine." Greed mumbles, and Sam sees that same flash of dark green from earlier in his eyes.

"I suppose that'll be the biggest shot I get at differentiating myself from my family, huh?" She says.

Wrath nods. It's got to be the first time Sam's seen them answer anything without some big dramatic show, and while Sam hasn't known them long enough for it to be distinctly jarring, it's also a little unsettling.

The room is silent. 

"I'll do it," Sam says, and then, to herself again, "I'll do it." Like she's in shock.

Sloth is awake, her lidded eyes leaking a cloudy blue, and the dark, sickly green from Greed is becoming more and more prominent. 

"You're sure?" Asks Wrath, smoky red fumes pouring from their mouth with every word. They're breathing heavily, as though the sheer amount of willpower it's taking not to pounce on top of her and bond to her is enough to get her out of breath.

There are implications with the phrasing of that thought that Sam is well aware she wouldn't come up with them on her own. She realizes they've already begun to claim her - claim being another word she would never have considered. The concept of it is slightly disquieting, but also a little exhilarating.

Sam nods. 

There's a silence - cold and wet.

Then Pride takes her hand, and her head explodes with a flood of words. She can't think right, can hardly breathe right. After what feels like a million years but is probably only a few seconds, the messy jumble slows into a stream of what is still more words than she can handle at a time. The message, however, remains crystal clear.

She is better than anyone else she knows.

Greed lunges at her, and she feels the others' surprise - this was not the plan, not the designated order, but still, they manage not to freak out.

She is better than anyone else she knows, and she wants - no, deserves things. Anything she wants should be hers and hers alone. She reaches out to grab at something, anything and comes in contact with Gluttony. 

The desire to have becomes the desire to consume, and it only gets stronger when Lust grabs her shoulders and tries to hold her in place.

Oh, she thinks she likes that. It's not a thought she can properly form or figure out, though. Her mind is hazy, and she can't think things through. She's tugged towards the wall by - she thinks it's Wrath?

Anger, panic, and confusion overwhelm her senses. The world is spinning like a top, and she wants it to end. She doesn't know what's happening or why and if it isn't going to stop on its own she's going to make it.

Then Sloth drags her onto the couch, and she blacks out.

* * *

 

When Sam wakes up again, she's alone, but she has the distinct sense of not being alone at the same time. It's like the feeling you get when you read a book in the same room as someone else.

She also feels distinctly hungover, and the knock-knock-knocking at the door certainly isn't helping. 

It's nobody she knows, which, given that she has only just moved in today is to be expected. It's late afternoon - though it feels later - and that's the thought she's caught up in as she opens the door.

"Sorry to bother you, but I thought I heard a scream coming from this direction earlier. Are you okay?" The person standing in the doorway asks. They remind her immediately of Greed - something that feels both natural and very odd at the same time. They have the same curly black hair and emerald green eyes - not to mention the perfect posture and high, chirpy voice. They are a bit shorter, and a bit rounder, but the two of them are alike nonetheless.

Sam nods. "Yeah, of course. I just, ah, was a little surprised. You know when you think you see someone, but nobody's there?"

"Well, yes,"

"That's what happened. Oh, and don't be sorry to bother me. I'm sorry to bother you."

"Well, I'll be seeing you- what's your name?"

"Samantha McKinney, but my friends call me Sam."

"I'm Kent - it's short for Kenten, don't ask - Kent Rabbits. Well, it's nice meeting you," He winks. "Sam."

Then he's off, and Sam is closing the door behind him and sinking to the floor.

"How do you feel?" Pride asks, leaning over her.

"You six are going to be the death of me."

And Pride launches into another one of her speeches.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If there are two things I'm good at, they're comedic dialog and writing up Denny's lore.

"So where are we going?" Sam asks Lust, who skips happily along next to her down the street.

"Well, see, it's like this. We noticed you've had trouble getting a job recently, and we wanted to help you." They begin.

"We being me. I'm the one who noticed, and also the only one who cares whether or not you are currently employed." Greed chirps.

"We knew." Lust says. "You're just the only one who's particularly bothered because you were going through her sock drawer trying to steal cash."

"Why I noticed is," Greed pauses a moment and holds up a hand to stop any comment from Lust. "Irrelevant. Irrelevant. Anyhow, to answer your question, Sam, we're going to the Denny's!"

"We're going to the Denny's?" Sam says. Then she sighs and turns around. "Who am I kidding? Of course, we're going to the Denny's. It's like I forget that you're the literal embodiments of the seven deadly sins."

"Sweetie, you've got to be joking. Denny's is the best." Lust says. "It's open 24/7 and, like, have you ever had any of their signature slams?"

"Have you? Last I checked, you didn't eat food."

"What do you have against Denny's?"

"Denny's blurs the lines between what is real and what isn't. It's weird and scary, and I don't like it."

"A job at Denny's is better than no job at all." Greed points out.

"Is it, though?" Sam asks. "Besides, even if I were to go to the Denny's asking for a job, who says they would hire me?"

"We do."

"What you say means absolutely nothing to Denny's."

"We may have connections at the Denny's." Lust says.

"Of course you do." Says Sam, sitting down on the nearest bench and burying her face in her hands. Of course, you have connections at the Denny's."

"Yeah, and we should. Go. To. The. Denny's."

"Okay," Sam says, standing up. "We're going to the Denny's."

* * *

 

"And this had all the makings of a good day." Benny Larson says when they turn around to see two of their former roommates in Denny's kitchen. "Nobody's soul has been absorbed into the building yet today, I haven't had to replace the time-stabilizers yet this month, and all of my current employees are still sane. And yet here are you two to ruin that streak of not terrible things happening. So, what do you two want? In the way of money and sex, of course."

"Okay, so firstly that was really mean-," Greed begins, only to be cut off by Benny.

"Has your voice gotten more nasal? Maybe I've just tried to bury the abstract and annoying horror that living with the seven of you for those three months was so much that I'm forgetting minor details, but I feel like your voice has gotten more nasal."

"Have you always been this much of an asshat?" Lust snaps back immediately. "Oh wait, I know the answer to that one. It's yes. Yes, you have."

Greed shushes them before saying, "Alright, so listen. I know we started off on the wrong foot, but, hey, we have a new roommate,"

"I pity that poor soul even more than I pity the ones who can't figure out the way out of the vents here even though we removed all of the covers."

"And she's agreed to be our human. So her safety and mental and stability is our safety and mental stability. But there's another type of stability that I didn't just mention. It's financial. The type of stability I'm talking about is financial stability."  
"I"m not going to loan anyone stupid enough to agree to be your human money."

"And we aren't asking you to!" Greed clarifies quickly.

"What are you asking me to do then?"

"Sam needs a job." Lust says, checking their nails with as bored an expression as they can muster on their face.

"I don't need anyone else to help out." Benny insists, waving them off pointlessly.

"Even with as high as turnover rate as this place surely has?" Greed asks pointedly.

Benny runs a hand through their hair. "Fine." They say. "But she has to work night shifts because nobody else wants to. And they have to come in still, just so I can see them."

"Deal!" Greed says, and then he's gone, grabbing Lust and dragging them through the wall behind them so quickly that they can't react immediately and end up just slamming full force into it for a second.

* * *

 

"Where did you go?" Sam asks when Lust and Greed reappear beside her.

"To talk to our connections at the Denny's." Lust says. They're noticeably more sour-sounding than they were before, and they have their arms crossed over their chest and head held high in a way that suggests that screams "I'm pouting but trying to pretend that I'm not."

"You've got the job." Lust says.

"Already?" Sam asks skeptically. "How did you pull that off?"

"We know the manager," says Greed. "and technically all you have to have to get a job at Denny's is a connection with or firm disbelief of the supernatural. Plus they don't really have paperwork. Names of employees are just inked in glitter sharpie under the table closest to the manager's heart at the moment. Trust me. Our last roommate - who is our entire list of connections, by the way - talked about it a lot when they lived with us."

"Alllllright then, I guess."

* * *

"So, this is the kid?" Asks Benny as soon as Sam and her sinful posse walk into the Denny's. What immediately hits Sam is the terrible Boston accent they've chosen to take on. "She's shorter than I expected."

"Hello, uh-,"

"Larson, Benny. You can call me either, I gave up on getting anyone to call me any sort of title of respect years ago. What's your full name, kid?"

"Samantha McKinney," Sam says.

Larson checks the bottom of a nearby table. "Yep, there you are. Mr. Averice over there called you Sam. Is that what you prefer, or was he just being a dick like usual?"

"Uh, yeah, Sam is good."

"Great. I made you a schedule while I waited for you to show up." Benny says, handing her a piece of paper. "You had better be here. Well, that's all I'll be needing you for, at least for today. Show up, don't get your soul absorbed into the others that are trapped in the ceiling, and you'll do great, kid. That's all I need you for right now, because this isn't technically a business, and the building is only visible to most people at 3 in the morning."

Sam makes a move to leave, and Benny grabs her arm for just a second.

"And, hey, Sam?" They say. They've dropped the accent, and there's something about their voice that seems softer, less forcefully sharp.

"Yeah?" Sam asks.

"I don't think you know what you're getting yourself into in that apartment of yours. Not yet, anyway. I don't mean that as an insult, I swear! It's hard to tell what's going on at first. But once you realize, if you need someone to talk to, just call me, okay?"

Sam nods. "Okay."

"Well. I'll see you tonight because I don't take breaks. My essence is tied to this building."  
"See you tonight," Sam says, then she's out the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A lot of this is Denny's lore, wow, I didn't fully intend for this to happen, but still, wow.


End file.
